The alternatives to anal intercourse and oral intercourse are almost like going back to kindergarten. You might thank "Oh hang on, this is something we did as kids. It's infantile, it's what children do when they're discovering sexuality." It's things such as frottage, which is rubbing against each other, mutual masturbation, enjoying each other's bodies, pleasuring each other ... it doesn't sound exciting does it when you think of the "wham bam" type of sex. And for a lot of gay men who are having a very high level of unprotected sex, anal intercourse, oral intercourse, to suddenly start going and having mutual masturbation, or cuddling, or prolonged sex, you might need to change gear and think "No, it's not like that." But what this is is like moving from driving around a race track without a seat belt to driving into a country lane with pleasurable views and taking your time. Other cultures have looked at alternatives to intercourse. And our cultures, unfortunately, our "wham bam" cultures, you might want to investigate Tantric sexuality, the work of Tao sexuality, the way the masters of sexuality in Kama Sutra for instance have looked at the ways we can have sex with each other. And there is a Kama Sutra for gay men written at the same time the Kama Sutra for heterosexuals was written. You would need to look at the Indian teachings on the way, the alternatives to penetrative sex, as I mentioned just now, the Taoist. These have the strongest elements of experimentation, but they're so pleasurable once you shift gear, that you're not going to miss the "wham bam." They're also safe. There's no risk of transmission of HIV. But what you need to do is slow down. It's not "wham bam." And you can't do the types of sex I'm talking about in the Kama Sutra, and Taoism, for instance, unless you're conscious. You have to be very conscious. You don't take drugs or alcohol. I know there are certain schools of Tibetan Tantra where drugs and alcohol are used, but they're used ritualistically. Shivai Tantra in southern India for instance uses EVERYTHING, including drugs and alcohol, but in a very controlled ritualistic way that we in the West are not able to understand or tolerate. It requires dedication, practice, and if you want to investigate it, you could spend the rest of your life investigating it, and, and you would have such pleasure, such joy, in doing this, but you would need to do a lot of research as to how these cultures use sexuality. In India, there's various caves, for instance, Gujrau and Fanta, et cetera, that have depictions of alternatives to intercourse. Maybe you want to investigate those. In our culture there is no alternative, or no REAL alternative to "wham bam" sex. You would need to go East young man, to look at the ways we can nurture. Because "wham bam" sex isn't nurturing. It's almost abusive. Sex is almost punishment, the way we have sex with each other is very violent, it's very macho, it's very non-nurturing. It's almost like you're attacking your partner or being attacked by your partner and then they walk away and you have been attacked. These ways of sex, having sex without penetration that I'm talking about, and Taoism, and Tantra, and Kama Sutra for instance, they are are long, drawn-out. Sometimes, the act of sex with your partner, when it's non-penetrative, can take place over hours. They're not centered on ejaculation, they're centered on nurturing, and they're centered on evolving you, they activate all your chakras, from the mulladai right through to the suavistan, the work of all your chakras along your spine, and the crown of your head. Those ways of having sex are designed to wake you up. But the "wham bam" sex that we have as gay men in the West is designed to close you down, to make you fall asleep, to get you to be unconscious. The shock of "wham bam" sex, all your chakras fuse, they close down, they go into shock, because you're being abused. And years of abuse when your chakras close down, HIV is not the worst thing that could happen to you. Because our culture doesn't have the answer, you need to look at other cultures. Do your own research; I can't do it for you. Hey by the way no one can do your truth; you've got to do your truth. I can't tell you what works for you; you have got to work it out for yourself. Before the Buddha died, he said to Subbuthi, his last disciple, "Work out your own salvation, with diligence." No one does it for you. If you're hungry, I can't eat for you. If you're thirsty, I can't drink for you. And so how are your thirst and hunger satisfied? Do your own research. Do your own work. And let, maybe, this be a beginning. Prove me wrong! Investigate it! But you know I don't think you will. (Prove me wrong, that is.)