If you are in a relationship with someone and you don't know what they are doing when they are not with you, and you suspect or they admit that they are having sex with other gay men. Or they are being unsafe and you either have an admission or a suspicion, stop the relationship! It's an abusive relationship. It's like these women who stay with men who batter them, "oh he really loves me," hey if he loved you he wouldn't be battering you. If your partner loved you he wouldn't be playing away. Walk away, cut your losses, run, get out of there, it's not worth it. What he's bringing home to you might just kill you. And obviously he doesn't love or respect you because guess where he is when he is not with you. A lot of infections now are actually occurring in relationships. You have no idea what he does when he is not with you; he has no idea what you do when you're not with him. You need to make some sort of clear contract and understanding that you don't play away. There is some talk about negotiated safety in relationships, where if you do play away you take precautions. I don't know how that works. I don't know how much you trust your partner because he's got your life in his hands. I couldn't trust anyone that much. I really couldn't do that because I would never know until it were to late what they brought home to me. And when they come to the door saying, "Hey Johnny's home" and I say, "Hey Johnny what you brought with you?" because I don't know what the fuck they've been up to. And I don't want any more surprises you know I don't want to know about these relationships where people play away. And open relationships, everyone's got an open relationship, yeah like an open grave! You will fall into it at some stage. What are they bringing home to you? What are they doing? If you're enough for each other why are you playing away? Why is he playing away? You obviously are not enough for each other. It's not a relationship. It's an abusive relationship. It's a relationship of eventual danger, but it's not a relationship that is nurturing or positive. See because we have no spiritual or emotional dimension to our lives we think that the answer to all our emotional, spiritual needs is more sex, better sex, bigger, better, harder, faster it doesn't work that way. You've had him and that is not enough you want the next one, and then the next one, and then the next one and so does he. It's not a relationship. The first relationship you should get right is with yourself. If you get it right with yourself you can deal with him. But because you are unhappy with who you are, and may not even know who you are, he fulfills the part of you that's missing. Maybe all of you that is missing. It's like they say my other half. Honey, if your other half leaves he's taking half of you with him. What have you got left? He's not your other half. In most cases relationships I know the other person is likely the other 100 percent and when he goes you're finished. Invest time and learning in who you are and as you learn who you are return to education. Read the history of the human race and how to be human is more important than how to be gay. Being gay is what you do, not who you are.